Friday, 27 July 2012

Somethings White

Summer is the ideal time to wear white as it looks awesome and also reflects the heat and keeps us cool. This post was supposed to come out yesterday but here you go...

Tops and Bottoms: 1. With shorts & cardi  2. as Space Cadet

Going All White: 1. Sweet Style  2. Sophie by Stockholm Streetstyle

With Printed Skirts & Gorgeous Shoes: 1. LuAnne of Weesha's World  2. Lamia by Stockholm Streetstyle

With Reds And Oranges: 1. Orange lips  2. Red Lips

With Perfect Summer Shoes: 1. Surviving Summer  2. Surviving Summer way 2

On The Runway: 1. Chloe Resort 2012  2. Thakoon Resort 2012

I love the individual styling as well and I am not doing a collage with my desired accessories with white. I do love turquoise, gold, black, neon accents usually..maybe not all at the same time..well what the hell why not? Just think about it..till then see ya mama mia (so corny!)!!

And Oh How Awesome Is This?!
Re-used Trampoline! Say What!

Thursday, 26 July 2012

I Am Fat And That Never Defined Who I Am

This is a ridiculously massive post. So skip it if you want. But don't leave meaningless comments which would make it clear you have not read it.
It's an afternoon and we are having a rare nice conversation and suddenly it takes a turn and I end up telling her, "I don't even want to be with someone who won't love me just because I am fat. I don't want to be with someone who doesn't see I am so much more than my body size!" and all she does is stand there with a blank look and I know she is doing what she always does (not just with me), she is mentally somewhere else and thinking something else, not even listening to me.
Some other things I have heard - 
"I was not that fat at your age"
"Look at your friend/best friend and look at you. Don't you want to look as good as they do?"
"Look at me! Even at my age I am so lean! How does a 20 year old be this big?!"
Concerned relative before leaving the house, moments after I thought, "thank god I didn't have to hear a pseudo-concerned slightly sexist rant about my weight," concerned relative goes, "I told your mum to buy you a tread mill this time instead of anything else."
"But no guy will like you!".. isn't that the sole purpose of  my living? Isn't that the only reason I have educated myself? Isn't it?
"It's good you can cook well but don't go eating everything you make all the time," with a twinkle in their eye
"Next time I am making you take the stairs along with me!"
"You need to shed of those kilos. You should walk every day for an hour at least," says the mother of a morbidly obese family who won't stop feeding butter to her sons and sugar to her diabetic husband.
"You are saying my dressing sense is out there? What about that fat-ass Debiparna who wears those shorts at tuition classes?!" in a squeaky high pitched voice as someone told someone in the presence of my friend when I was still in school
"It seems like her button is going to burst!" said by an extremely bitchy girl and a girl I thought was a friend for the sheer purpose of being mean..their excuse-it was just a joke. I am the one with an uber sensitive hide.

Really I have received all these comments from various people throughout my life! When I was in school, actually ever since I was a kid and could rationally understand this irrational world I have had bigger problems and issues to deal with. And it wasn't until I quit dancing in 4th grade that I started gaining weight. I had a major weight gain in 10th grade and then again in 12th. While in college, life got much more relaxed, the 12(to14) hours a day 7 days a week crazy schedule in school was gone and naturally in such a relaxed environment I only gained more weight. I noticed after a couple of those years in college that I was one of the very few people who had gained and not lost weight. The last years in school were emotionally draining for me since I was studying something I had no aptitude for and felt pressured to get the minimum grades I would need to get into a good college with my choice of subject. This affected me in many ways that mixed with the other things going on all around me turned me from this really extroverted person to someone who barely spoke with anyone. I have never felt sorry for myself and I have never felt victimised for being just a bit bigger in size than my friends. What always annoys me is the ignorance from which such comments come from. The general inability to accept something or someone that is different saddens me, pisses me off more than anything else. As I said maybe the reason why my weight has never been an issue with me is because I have had other bigger fish to fry. But I have let some of these comments stick with me as you can see. Not in a self-harming, mental torture kind of way, I remember every insult and who made it. I can get back at people for making such remarks now but when I was in school I didn't know this. Unconsciously I think I felt jokes about my weight came with the territory so as to say. Even now if someone says something about my weight I don't know how to react. I am torn between outright indignation and utter apathy sometimes. I feel like I should make an outraged statement and they would magically start thinking positively about different bodies from then on but, then again in milliseconds I am reminded that they didn't even think before they said what they did and also I don't really care.
Because doesn't being fat automatically give every random hill-billy the right to be concerned about your weight? No. It doesn't.
The reason I started posting my own pictures on this blog was because I had discovered this amazing thing bloggers were doing and thereby spreading encouragement all over the globe among lots of girls (and even guys) who struggle with either their weight or these stupid comments - there were various topics about body acceptance which made me go, "oh hey I am not the only one who thinks being fat is not that big of a deal!". And the very fact that the wonderful fatshionistas(a term I did not know exists) posted their own pictures in these gorgeous pretty/feminine/trendy/edgy outfits and they looked so brilliant! When I first started following blogs they were all amazing and made me want to blog, but I was just going to post written content. Then I got to thinking, these bloggers are real people, then there must be some out there who are as big as me or bigger and I never looked back! Gabi of Gabi Fresh was the first fatshion blog I started following. Her motto is not only to ignore the rules, she actually doesn't believe in dressing for your body type and wears whatever she likes. I love that about her. I like that she doesn't use any euphemisms for being fat because I never shied away from the word. It's an adjective not an insult! Some of us are thin, some fat, some in between and that says as much about who we are as does the chalk about cheese. Being fat doesn't automatically make me cute, sweet and everything nice nor does it make me lazy, sloppy and everything ugly. I talked about these perceptions based on weight in this post of mine.
I know this was a long post. But reading this incredibly honest post from LuAnne - Being the Fat daughter - brought back a lot of things I have faced in my life and though it didn't affect me as hard as it would a normal person, I identified with lots of things written here. We scar for different reasons sometimes and I have had to deal with plenty of the issues mentioned here but for other reasons. This was a very personal post from LuAnne and I am happy I know her. And I love her style. I am not going to stop wearing some things just because someone thinks my body is not suitable for it. My style is a reflection of my personality. My words and opinions are a reflection of who I am and what I believe in. My weight and size are mere numbers and I don't use numbers to express who I am or to vent bottled up emotions (unlike some...true story -a teacher actually suggested I do that in order to be better at math...I didn't get him either..until recently; you see we all have our own ways of showing who we are, he had numbers and I didn't get him then because I was told math is not a subject to express yourself. You solved problems and got high scores).
This is not a rant. I don't write much usually but that post got me going this time. Life has taught me ever since I was a kid to accept the different without even ever considering the other options. I have and always will have an open mind and I love surrounding myself with people who are different than me (provided they are not moronic, narrow-minded idiots) . I have it in me to accept people as they are whether I like them or not. I have always had that quality in me and I have dealt with things on my own in my own ways, I have had help and support and everything that has happened so far is the reason I am the way I am today. I am a good person, I am a loyal friend, I have secrets I will take to the grave, I will always stand up for you if you are being bullied and be a bitch to me or the people I care about I will forget I have manners. My weight is not an issue as it should not be to any of you out there. I am happy I have this blog because without this I wouldn't have discovered so many good things going on in corners of the world I have never been to and perhaps will never go to. I honestly think people who don't read blogs are missing out on something big happening in the world right now.

Thanks for reading this post.
Love yourself and be kind to others.
All women are real women, curves or no curves.

Monday, 23 July 2012

Some Ebay Stuff I Like

I have been wishing for these things of late. So I am making a wish list sort of here..Grab them if you like..

Dragon Ear Cuff

Eye of Horus Ring

Talon Skull Tassels Ear Cuff

Long Sleeve Cape Top

Fringe Shoulder Bag

Velvet Draped Kimono Robe

Floral Kimono Robe/Duster

Spiked Wrap Bracelet

If we all were the same, had similar likes and dislikes, thought the same things about everything and looked the same way life would become so boring...on this profound bit I say 
Draco Dormiens Nunquam Titillandus

Friday, 20 July 2012

Dressed For Loneliness

There are days when you wake up and realise the busy schedule has somehow sneaked up on you and you haven't done something you enjoy for a long while. You don't even realise the hours are tumbling past you. You sit half-dressed and not even a little bit ready to go out and do your daily work. You start compartmentalising everything in your head. You just want to sit and enjoy the things you love most. Some times I just want to scream out because I haven't talked in a while..nothing worthwhile anyway..not to someone I wanted to talk to anyway...I hunger for new things, excitement, the routine bores me and leaves me drained of all energy and inspiration. I have failed to run with others and I have found my own pace. It doesn't fall into a perfect rhythm with anyone but it does 95% (according to that person it's only 50%) of the time with someone I know. I cannot run away from who I am and I cannot force myself to be someone I cannot ever be. I may be an utter failure in life because of this or a penniless, mad, homeless outcast; a hippie even maybe. I will be happy as long as I walk at my own pace and I know that.

"The most important things are the hardest things to say. They are the things you get ashamed of, because words diminish them - words shrink things that seemed limitless when they were in your head to no more than living size when they’re brought out. But it’s more than that, isn’t it? The most important things lie too close to wherever your secret heart is buried, like landmarks to a treasure your enemies would love to steal away. And you may make revelations that cost you dearly only to have people look at you in a funny way, not understanding what you’ve said at all, or why you thought it was so important that you almost cried while you were saying it. That’s the worst, I think. When the secret stays locked within not for want of a teller, but for want of an understanding ear." -Stephen King  (via wakeupinfrance)

All photos flysongbirdfly

Sunday, 15 July 2012

To Perish Into Dust

I had stopped shopping for a few months. It wasn't a self-imposed shopping ban but I really was saving everything I could. This month I have got quite a few new things, the whole savings thing has gone off the wire a bit. But the fact I stopped for a while has kept me from feeling shoppers guilt. Apart from all that I finished watching Fortysomething. It is a 6 episode wonder that my best friend discovered starring Hugh Laurie, Anna Chancellor, Benedict Cumberbatch(early days..pre-Sherlock days :P). Over this weekend we got hooked on to this other series The Killing. It is brilliant! I have been studying about the different movements in painting and seeing some mindf*ck films in class lately. My mind is saturated and I want more.
Hope you all are having a great time(with friends, family or in solitude), learning new things(no your age doesn't matter, you learn things whenever, wherever.. obviously!) and going places(physically or in your silly little heads)..

I got the studded wrap-around bracelet from, the skull print cotton stole from, the jeggings and tee are from a long time back..I can't really recall where I got them from but I can tell you I really like this tee.

For all of you who are interested in paintings I would like to say I have been staring at the brilliance of this painting for a while .... see for yourself why...

The Ambassadors (Holbein)


Wednesday, 11 July 2012

High & Low = Per-fat-shion

See my awesomely intelligent spin on the word "perfection" and "fatshion"? No? No? Now? No? Ah leave it all you ...
I have wanted an asymmetric skirt/top for more than a couple of years now. I remember trying the first high-low skirt I saw (that too in supposedly my size!) in a shop that must not be named and dear god my fat ass was bursting, the proportion was all wrong as well and it was more funny than embarrassing(I seldom get embarrassed about my body while shopping so there you go..). So I decided it was one of those things I will not try ever but lust after whenever I see someone wearing it and silently weep. Meh! All that went flying out the window when I saw this dress on Sugarlips and I realised the size should fit me well and stretch too if need be because of the material. I wasn't wrong! I got this a few days back in the mail and I was so tired that day I didn't even open the packet because I decided in my head "I am too tired to be disappointed tonight and tomorrow is another day after all" Harry Potter reference now a Gone With The Wind one, I am either on a roll or again too tired to think much.. I was so happy to see the dress when I took it out of the packet! Here's me doing stuff in that dress...

just posing; dress-c/o sugarlips; gold bangle/bala-mum's
my mum's necklace..I think from early 80s or before..she wore it on her wedding day
that's me standing awkwardly sideways and twirling randomly..the ring on the ring finger belonged to my maternal grandpa
Here's where you can find the dress - *Winter Sherbert Dress*
The large size seems to be gone..but see the model is also twirling and all in the pictures..I did too! They have some other cool stuff these pants and this black lace crop top is pretty rad too.

And here's just something before I bid adieu -
Internet Calls Fat Girl 'Fat' And Her Response Is ... Perfect

Saturday, 7 July 2012

What Is Up (Eventually Comes Down?)

I am just going to share a few pictures I have pinned on my style inspiration pinboard or reblogged on my tumblr. Sometimes the thought of a sweaty, grimy face (which is inevitable) at the of the day no matter what you looked like in the morning before leaving the house can be a deterrent to making the effort to look even half decent. So on those days a quick scroll down my blog and tumblr dashboards before leaving the house helps (i used to go to lookbook mostly at first but I don't spend that much time there anymore nowadays)...or any website I happened to have found by chance. I generally like styles which has an unhurried vibe to it with a hint of attitude, and has a slight essence of who the person is. You can tell if you know how to look. Sometimes things come easily to people and sometimes we are all just faking it in the hopes of someday making it. I love black & white, I love bright red and ombre hair, I love skulls, I love oversized glasses, I love flat shoes, I love floral and geometric prints, I love the conceptual, I love the abstract, I love the bohemian, I love the grunge, I love the revival of most things past, I love dark lined eyes, I love the blue, I love the black.

 bye for now!

Monday, 2 July 2012

Gwen Renée Stefani

Today was the first day of my new class. I did take film studies as a pass course during graduation but for some reason today felt like the first day of the rest of my life. On the way I kept saying that in my head but somehow the words were all coming out jumbled up. I haven't been this excited for a class ever. I am looking forward to tomorrow. Can't remember when I felt that way last.
I came back and started reading Madeline's formspring. Her answer about Gwen made me go gwen-song-hunting on youtube and I found this Gwen Stefani song "Cool". I couldn't quite remember the words but the moment that music started I was lost. You can't forget such stuff once you have heard it so many times in the past no matter how much time has passed. They bring back old memories and it's hard to believe I was still a teenager then. I was so hormonal and angsty!
I never really gave her enough credit for the love for deep red lips in my heart. I would look at her pictures and tell my best friend I would have red lips just like that and she would look at me like, "like hell you would ever do that!" and now see how far we have both come in our personal style journeys! So I am dedicating this post to Gwen and her awesomeness..her make-up,her hairstyle, her style..ahh I die..I like her line L.A.M.B quite a lot too..woohoo..enjoy ogling at the pictures!

!Bye Bye!
I will go recharge my batteries now
I feel wonky
You do it too