Come rain or shine whenever you ask me to move my fat ass because you want me to be wherever the hell you want me to be I will oblige. When internet trolling won't suffice I will call you up and mess with you and get scolded like a kid every time because that much you mean to me. I will deliberately slurp my drink in public when only the melting ice is left at the bottom of my glass because that annoys you so much. I will slouch and wear stuff you pull a face at just because you will make a face at me and shake your head. I will do the ninja chops and chicken dance while you are around because only you deserve that torture for sticking around for so long... I will blow in the phone and say "It wasn't me!!It was the phone!!" and smile like a gleeful kid with the mastermind. I will pretend like I know I am right while I know I am not just so that I don't give you the satisfaction of saying "I told you so!"; you say that 365 and a 1/4 days in the whole year and thank you knuckle head for it! *rolls my eyes* because you thought that in your head.
You will ask me to criticize you and end up taking them all as compliments and I will end up with a face like *oh why me bothers!*. You will kick me promptly when I complain that I can’t walk and my legs hurt and I will jump on you with a face like *world war3 woot woot woot*.We will argue and keep the phones down, then 3 hours later you will call me and say “I am bored you jackass” and my sour face will do the conga so happy that instead of ding the ninja dance you called me the hobo hoot. I will call you at 4am and ask you if you are asleep. I will call you when I know you are sleeping and try to talk because I love it when you don’t have a fricking clue later on about what you said.
We don’t call each other bitches because that’s not a term of endearment in any universe; even the parallel ones I sure which exist with you & me there together.
For one I love so much all dirty words won’t suffice to express the nasty love I have for you *come to mommy come hither looks to be inserted here*
I am an ass so are you
We are the world champs in deedle dee doo
O oh I love you
*Now give me my bear*
This is the photo I tagged her in on facebook!! She went "e-w-w-w" :-D